Some Basic Do's and Don'ts for Fall Semester Thus Far

After two weeks of fall semester back in full swing, I have been strongly reminded as to why I began this blog in the first place. I'm wanting to focus on a few basic do's and don’ts that should be standard knowledge for any guy enrolled in class this autumn.


1) No jean shorts. None. Period. I'm not sure if it's just because I'm in LDS-central or what, but fortunately Utah only affords summer-heat for another month or so. Stick to things in Khaki, Plaids, or Cargo styles. Denim's history as "mining-wear" doesn't lend it to being worn as cutoffs or anything above the knee... and anything higher than the ankle is still suspect. Patterns are fine, but they're not a pair of boxers or a swim suit; hence keep neon colors off your hindquarters unless you're strapped to a body board.

Now, because this is 101, we'll break it down a little more; Plaid patterns should be based in neutral colors - colors that don't draw attention to themselves, because the pattern will do that for you. A bold stripe of color in the plaid print is fine, just once again, ease off the neons. Cargo shorts are the ones with large pockets on the sides of the legs. They've been popular for years and don't look to die off anytime soon. Coming into style more and more are very streamlined, thin-cut shorts, sometimes even coming slightly above the knee. Length can be played with in this way, but anything hitting your the top of your shin or lower isn't permissible at all.


2) Chacos are NOT acceptable casual footwear. This sandal looks great if you're planning a river-rafting trip... and that's about it. I shake my head in embarrassment when I see guys walk by wearing these things on and around campus. Imagine a cowboy wearing a pair of Nike running shoes while lassoing a horse. Yeah. It's like a misamalgamation of paradigms.

I do hear they're amazingly comfortable, and I highly recommend them on trips to the beach, if you're pregnant, or if you're going river-rafting, as stated above, as was their original creative intention.


3) Dark denim is in. Over the last few years, it can be very easily said that "darker is better." Better is such a subjective term, but in pretty much every sense it's a very true statement. It's sleeker, it creates a more dramatic aesthetic, and what's more it's generally more slimming than lighter denim treatments. I'm not a personal fan of the "destructed" fad that's in right now (although I'd be lying to say I don't have a pair of jeans with holes in the knees) and therefore advise to keep your denim looking new for as long as possible - dark and crisp. Don't walk on the hems of your jeans. Please. You're spending the cash to buy them so do yourself an economic favor and keep them looking good for as long as possible. In fact, you'd be amazed to learn how INfrequently jeans need to be washed, even up to 3 months or so as quality of the denim fabric goes up. Washing and drying is the general culprit in the destruction of denim, so staving cleaning off for as long as possible is recommended. A little known home remedy to lock in that indigo color? - When laundering your jeans for the first time, toss a tablespoon or more or salt in the washer with the detergent.

The trend as of now is to favor slimmer cuts in denim. The best looking you can be is wearing a garment that is fitted to you - not too tight, not too baggy. The fabric of your jeans should caress your thigh without making you look like a stuffed sausage link, and from there the leg-opening is up to personal taste, be it straight or "boot-cut." A boot-cut is when the pant flares out slightly from the knee down in order to accommodate, you guessed it, boots! - Although it can be argued which leg opening looks better over regular height shoes.

Denim is personally one of my favorite subjects, so don't want to write too much now on the matter, but rather save it for the Denim Post.


4) You're not a rock star, so don't dress like one. We all know who I'm talking about here; the guy that comes in with his aviator sunglasses on into the lecture hall, a deep v-neck graphic tee in black with silver scroll print, some form of Ed Hardy paraphernalia somewhere on their body, maybe a few sweat bands on their forearm, wearing True Religions and neon multi-colored "1980s Reject" Nike hi-tops. We all know that guy. That guy is a douche. Don't be him. I believe Cary Grant said it best, "All it takes are a few simple outfits. And there's one secret - the simpler, the better." Walking in wearing enough colors and glam to make a peacock do a double take is NOT what we're going for here. Stick with sharp looking basics, and the ladies will be remembering you more than the meathead across the hall.


5) Don't ignore your body-type. Now, this subheader may seem like it's veering off in a very feminine direction, but just as much as it applies to those of the gentler sex, it applies to guys too. Guys with a little more to love in the middle? - don't wear skin tight t-shirts or anything labeled as a "skinny jean," no matter what the sales(wo)man says. Conversely, dudes blessed with a tall, lean physique - don't lose yourself in baggy pants or shirts two sizes too big. You'd be surprised how easy it is to find clothes that fit you for you when you know where to look.

Example - if you're on the taller side and don't want your dress shirts pulling out of your belt every time you move, go to your favorite retailer's website. Odds are if they're more than just a "trendy" store they'll have just about everything available in "Tall" sizes - in this case, the dimensions of the garment are adjusted so as to accommodate taller wearers without looking out of proportion. Is that Medium t-shirt too short but the Large as billowy as a flag on a windy day? Go online and get yourself a "Medium Tall." Shoulders still fit, but the extra length so you're not showing off those abs to the world just quite yet.

For those out there on the heavier side; I've been there fellas. I understand. Tailors can be your best friend, and depending where you are can be quite affordable too. I wouldn't suggest taking in every shirt you own, but a getting your suits measured to you, your pants hemmed correctly and maybe even taken in wherever necessary will pay off in boatloads of self-confidence when you get dressed in the morning. If it's just not making you feel great, then it's a liability and you'll never wear it. Save your money. We'll go over fits more in upcoming posts.

General Rule; wear clothes that graze your body without hugging it. Fitted items are universally more appealing than not, no matter what the scale reads. You will never look "thinner" by wearing overly loose clothing. You will never look "stronger" by wearing overly tight clothing. You will look like a schmuck either way.


6) Don't be a walking billboard. Now, I'm a big fan of brand-pride, but not brand advertisement. Maybe a slightly more selfish part of clothing in general is the chance to let other's know what you think you're worth; the little moose on your polo can either say, "yeah, I was willing to invest in this $50 dollar shirt because it looks great on me and turned your head," (see #5 above) or it can say, "I'm an Abercrombie & Fitch whore. I buy what my girlfriend's 17 Magazine told me to." Let's work to achieve the former. Along with the rock-star wannabees I already mentioned, another of those categories you don't want to fall into is someone with "American Eagle" scrawled across their chest, back, arms, and maybe even other places. These garments are loud, unattractive, and only serve to blatantly announce where you've been dropping your paycheck. They're ridiculously informal and should be reserved to perhaps the gym and beach only. These aren't even "date" material, unless you're looking for more attention from other girls than the one you're with.

I'll be honest - the idea of brand affiliation is a status symbol in its basest form. "Well, I wear $300 Rock and Republics because they're the best. What do you wear? Levi's? Get out of my face loser!" I've met people like that. They're idiots. More than half the time, they're living off their Daddy's credit card. You don't need to spend a ton of money to look good. That is NOT a prerequisite. Quality in general does move up though as price gets higher, but only to a point. The denim they use at the exclusive Italian Diesel factory is probably the same fabric GAP uses in their high-end jeans (with about $120 in "designer brand name markup"), but you can also feel the difference immediately between a pair of designer denim and a pair of Wranglers from Wal-Mart. Every guy has to find his own Cost-Value ratio. Generally though, one should buy the most high-quality that one can afford; it will last you the longest, and you'll care about it enough to take care of it. Don’t' go into debt for fashion's sake, but you can't realistically go into a thrift store looking to find a suit that will be wearable for years to come.


Well, have to wrap it up for tonight. School beckons tomorrow, and homework still looms its ugly head over a peaceful sleep. Go forth, young fashionistas, with what we have learned thus far. Make me proud